To {his name},
I say I’ve moved on, but I haven’t.
You are a wolf amongst a flock of sheep. You presented everything I wanted-everything I thought I needed. In the midst of my obliviousness, you robbed and devoured my heart. I am now an empty vessel. I am now someone who lacks self-worth, self-value, and self-love.
You shattered me-all of me, so unexpectedly and unintentionally. Was she worth it? Is she even in your life anymore? When I needed you the most, you went to her. When you said you loved me, just know I loved you more. You couldn’t understand that I didn’t believe you wanted me to be yours. You wanted me to hold onto your loose rope of love while walking on a tight rope blindfolded. You hurt me, so I decided to hurt you back in order to seek your attention. I let my eyes wander and I let my tongue speak provocatively to the men that would hear. This didn’t phase you, you didn’t care. So I tried pleading that you would make her disappear but instead, I did. I left you painfully while the flame of our seven-month love and two-year-old friendship was still burning. I walked away knowing I would be the cause of my own brokenness. I soon realized that you were unknowingly trying to put this fire of love out months into our relationship. You told me I hurt you and that you were broken, but this “brokenness” was short-lived; it lasted only two weeks. Mine lasting till this day. You picked your broken pieces and learned to love and break many more females heart. I watched your smile resurface and cried knowing that I no longer existed in your heart and mind. Just like that, you were forever gone from my fingertips. I went from being the love of your life to the most repulsive entity you have ever encountered. I became chaos in your life and you became poison to my mind.
I don’t want you to think that I still love you, because that love is gone now. However, it is clear that I can’t seem to let you go even though you have let me. I still find myself looking for you in the crowd, wishing that if I saw you, your face would look miserable. I still hope I would see you as I walk down the halls of the school, knowing if I did it would satisfy my heart if I paid you no attention. I still get up in the morning wanting to look my best and post on social media hoping that you’d see it and regret that you made me walk away, due to your unfaithful actions. On the outside, I show you resentment even though you have apologized. I tell you I hate you because I still don’t know why I care about your wellbeing and think about you. I know I need to let the past and my hurt go because I have now transformed into you. I see men as objects and unintentionally break them, the way you broke me. I deceive, then steal their love and break their innocent souls in the end. {His name}, you and I are broken souls who hurt others because we are hurting within ourselves. I hope and pray in the future when I look back, I can say I moved on and we both renewed ourselves.
From,
Eunice
Picture link: https://tenor.com/search/playing-with-heart-gifs
